peddiniz

I WAS IN a relationship with a person, but I didn’t meet him for almost six months. It might sound like a film story, but it’s true. Well, he is Rishi. We just used to talk on the phone. He got my number through a common friend. Initially, he used to talk with me as an unknown person; I didn’t know his name. He revealed it to me later. I met him when we had just begun talking. Few days passed and our friendship grew stronger. He became my best buddy.

Then came the day when he proposed to me. I still remember it. It was Diwali night. He had called at midnight to say, “I love you. Do you love me Tillotama?” It was the most unforgettable moment of my life. I said to him, “yes.” The next day he had to leave for Pune to take his MBA exams. We couldn’t meet, but kept in touch over the phone. We both were happy. But then suddenly he realized that he couldn’t marry me, as I was six years younger to him. Yes, six years.

When we fall in love we don’t realize what we are doing. His family was opposed and we broke up. I felt terrible, but accepted it. It wasn’t his fault. We lost contact for two months. Whenever I called him, he ignored the call. It was the toughest part of my life. My friends supported me in those trying days. I knew that he won’t come back, but still I continued loving and thinking about him. I tried to forget him. It was tormenting, but I had to. I had to carry on in life without him.

Just when I had made up my mind, he returned and made it clear he won’t tie the knot with me, but would like to spend some beautiful moments with me to cherish them for the rest of his life. I agreed. I didn’t even think about my future. I just knew one thing — he loves me and I love him. After that brief interlude, we didn’t meet for nearly three months. It was a period of heartburns and tribulations. We had lots of quarrel, but we still stayed with each other. There was something that brought us together, but almost always there was acrimony over one thing or the other and we parted on a bitter note. It was strange, we could neither stay apart nor together. But there was always this strong bonding and we continued conversing on the phone. Hours used to pass and we couldn’t realize it. We cared a lot for each other.

After remaining apart and keeping alive the fire between us, we again met. That meeting was the most precious gift he had given me. I was tense and speechless when I met him for two hours. The next day, he left for Chennai on an official visit for five days and we couldn’t talk. Five days passed, he didn’t return. The date kept getting deferred. I kept waiting for the day when he would return and could talk again. The day we did, we had a fight over a small misunderstanding. Sometimes, lack of conversation can lead to misunderstandings that can never be sorted out. I tried a lot to resolve the differences, but he dint want it to happen. I don’t know why. I thought he was frustrated, as there was heaps of pending work in the office. I left him alone for few days, thinking time will bring him back. But he didn’t. Maybe, he never felt my need in his life.

Life seems to be so easy, but it’s not. Whatever happened, I am still grateful to him because he was the one with whom I fell in love. Now, when I feel like expressing myself, I can’t do that. He is not with me. I know, now he will never turn up. I still love him and will continue to love him. He is gone, but not his love.