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Et tu, Brute? Those pained words, uttered by Julius Caesar after he was literally backstabbed by Brutus, convey the angst that the dying dictator experienced at being betrayed by one he considered friend, advisor and confidant.

Neither was it strawberry fields forever for the famed friendship between John Lennon and Pau- McCartney, who split over irreconcilable differences and went on to chart their solo careers.

With the brouhaha over Friendship Day, when mush and messages reigned supreme, just behind us, it's as good a time as any to explore why so many good friendships bite the dust.

"Friendships are primarily driven by consumerist concerns, power equations, and an innate desire to explore beyond the confines of an existing relationship," says Rajib Haldar, Delhi-based sociologist.

Time was when bosom buddies Amitabh Bachchan and Rajiv Gandhi did everything from feasting to flying together. It took a Bofors scanda- to sever the bond forever.

Once bum chums, socialites Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie parted ways, and the latter declared, "When I got out of rehab, I had to figure out what path to go down, and part of that included taking certain people out of my life."

"If a friendship is fundamentally flawed to begin with and is entered into for al- the wrong reasons, it is a question of time before it flounders," explains clinica- psychotherapist Seema Hingorrany. "We may swear by our friends, but the moment they point out our shortcomings, there are only a few who can take it in the right spirit. Also, there is more than a grain of truth in the adage that prosperity makes you friends, adversity tries them."

Though dialogue writers Salim Khan and Javed Akhtar have maintained a studied silence over what drove them apart, many believe their creative egos got in the way of a wonderfu- partnership. "Good friendships often come unstuck because of egos that cannot be contained. True friendship is one where both the parties learn to sublimate their egos in situations of possible conflict," says Haldar.

Writer Pau- Theroux worshipped the ground his mentor VS Naipau- trod on, and was content being "Sir Vidya's Shadow", til- the day the friendship lay in tatters and Theroux regretted being in awe of the "mean" man. Being himself, Naipau- had no remorse about losing a dedicated friend. He asked Theroux to "take it on the chin and move on".

"Envy, boredom and a case of familiarity breeding contempt may also cause a good friendship to snap," avers Hingorrany.

While philosopher and writer Jean-Pau- Sartre and author Albert Camus, at one time the best of friends, had a permanent, bitter break-up when their politica- leanings clashed, the friendship between Mahatma Gandhi and Rabindranath Tagore, two people who disagreed severely on ideologica- issues, spoke volumes of their maturity, points out Haldar.

Not too long ago, Bollywood actors Anupam Kher and Ani- Kapoor shared a deep camaraderie and bond. "Nothing is the matter with our friendship. We both have gotten busy with our work commitments," said Kher dismissively when asked what went wrong. "In any case, I hold too many good memories to want to make our relationship appear pedestrian by talking about it." Point taken, but obviously al- is not hunky-dory on that front.

In denia- too is Smriti Irani of Tulsi fame. Despite tongues wagging incessantly in quarters that apparently appear knowledgeable on her split with Ekta Kapoor, Irani maintains all's swimmingly wel- between them.

Not everyone makes an attempt to hide or disclaim the end of friendship. Tennis players Leander Paes and Mahesh Bhupathi had the whole world and its grandaunt talking about their falling out. Theirs was a public feud that, sadly, ended on a no love score.

Do friendships come with a sell-by date? And do true friendships belong mainly to the realm of mythology and celluloid -- to wit, Krishna-Sudama, Veeru-Jai?

"No, that shouldn't be the case," asserts Hingorrany. "If you are loya- to your friendship and don't keep evaluating it on superficia- and materialistic parameters, there is every reason the friendship is for keeps. Also, good listening abilities lay the foundation of an everlasting association."Sometimes, an act of indiscretion can sound the death knel- of close ties. A friendship split wide open was that between industrialist Sonia Garware and her sister-in-law. It was Garware who alleged that Ramona's wanton ways drove her cousin to depression and subsequent suicide.

More recently, the marriage of a Mumbai raja and his rani came under a cloud, as the rani in al- her roya- wisdom concluded whatever belonged to her best friend was hers by right as well. Except in this case it is the best friend's husband we are talking about.

"Friendship is like a China cup, precious rich and rare, once broken can be mended, but the crack is always there" goes a piece of maudlin prose that has found its way into many autograph books. Mawkish, but no less true for that.

A peeved Shatrughan Sinha perceived insult to injury when Amitabh Bachchan, a friend for decades, who did not invite him for his son's wedding, had sweets home delivered to him post the festivities. True, they subsequently kissed and made up in a very public forum, but insiders insist that it is a surface-mend.

Today, gossipmongers and tabloid trawlers lose sleep over whether Karan Johar and Shah Rukh Khan's friendship has taken a knock. About time Johar set the record straight, by making a movie on how it's really al- about loving one's friends!

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